Grief affects all of us differently, in terms of how we mourn and how we process the passing of a loved one. Grief may want us to isolate ourselves from others, disconnect from our surroundings and distract ourselves from the pain.
Connecting with others may be difficult but it can serve as a great way to share memories of your loved ones. Telling stories of a loved one that has passed away can help to keep memories of them alive. Gathering with others may also bring a sense of containment and community, which could help to manage the feeling of loneliness.
There’s a misconception that grief tends to shrink or go away, but in reality we simply learn to process and live with it, managing it in our day to day lives. We may feel as if we have to move on but you don’t! As mentioned above, telling stories is a great way to keep your loved one’s legacy alive and here are a few more activities to do as a community.
Writing/Journaling or Free Writing
Journaling can be a powerful tool to process and explore your feelings during a period of grieving because when we hold too much in our minds we can feel overwhelmed. Writing out your thoughts can help to navigate that. Another journaling process known as ‘free writing’ could also be helpful and it involves writing for a set period of time what comes to mind, disregarding any grammatical errors. This particular technique helps with emotional blocks, releasing thoughts and emotions and gives you a sense of clarity.
Creating a memory box
Having something physical to hold onto of your loved one that’s passed can also be quite calming as it can serve as a reminder of them. Things to include in your memory box could be their favourite piece of clothing, a book they use to often read, a picture of the both of you and/or jewellery that they may have worn often.
Keep and cook their recipes
This is also a great way to keep a loved one’s memories and food most definitely brings a community together! If your loved one used to write down recipes for meal times then perhaps try to recreate their recipes. If they didn’t leave any written recipes, try to visualise what they used to cook and ask family members or friends what types of ingredients they may have used. You may even be able to cook together as a family, again, maintaining connection and keeping your loved one’s legacy alive.
Movement and Exercise
Lastly, move your body and exercise.
This could be anything from taking a brisk walk with a friend or going for a bike ride. When we move our bodies, endorphins which is a chemical in the brain gets released and this helps with boosting our mood and managing our pain. In addition, doing this within a community helps us to connect and continue to share those memories of loved ones who have passed. Even if you find yourselves not talking or sharing memories, simply being in the presence of one another can be comforting.
For support around bereavements and grief
Cruise: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
The Good Grief Trust: https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/
Winston’s Wish: https://winstonswish.org/
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide: https://uksobs.com/